Not gonna lie, I haven't been able to sit down and write anything because my headspace just hasn't been good. All I've been able to see is the giant that is standing in front of me and I know that I have to defeat it but I don't think I have it in me. It's been battle after battle and I've thrown my hands up so many times lately and just asked God "when is it going to stop?! I can only take so much and I've had my fair share."
Last night, I was not only physically exhausted, I was mentally exhausted. I've been in my head so much lately that it was one of those nights where I literally couldn't even form a full thought. As I was standing in my front yard I just looked up at the sky and said "where the crap are you? I don't even know what I need at this moment but I need something. You know I'm running on fumes so give me something."
I kid you not I woke up before the kids (that never happens), feeling rested and recharged. I almost immediately recognized a difference in my energy. My first thoughts were positive, I felt lighter, it was one of those mornings where you wake up and just know that today is going to be a good day.
I got up and did my morning devotional and yall the devotional was all about finding strength and courage. I gotta share the action takeaway and the prayer.
"Have you loosened your grip or lost a bit of your fight? Rise up, brave one, and claim the promises that are yours for the taking! Let the weak say, "I am strong in the strength of the Lord!" *
"Precious Lord,
Thank You for not leaving me as an orphan. You've made me an heir. You've provided for my every need and equipped me for every battle. You've never left me alone and never will. Rise up within me once again, Lord, I am strong in You! Amen."*
This was not by chance. Not at all.
This was God revealing himself to me to show me He is there and I don't have to have the strength because He has the strength. I was reminded yet again that we do not serve a do nothing God. Even when we think He's just idling sitting by, He's not. He's always working for our good.
This wasn't the first time He's shown up after I gave him a desperate plea to reveal Himself. About a month ago I was really struggling with feeling lonely. It was a Saturday night and I told Him I really needed Him to speak to me tomorrow at church but I specifically said, "don't be vague about it."
I get to church, running late as usual, I set my things down while the music is going and when I do my keys fall out of my purse but I can't reach them. A man walks over and hands it to me, I'm flustered and annoyed but I pull it together. As soon as I focus my attention on the music, the words of the song and the only words on the screen are "You are not alone."
Needless to say I lost it and God understood the assignment about not being vague.
I'm sure so many of us can relate to moments where we feel that God wasn't there but then you saw how He was.
But maybe you're like me and you're in a season where you question if He's going to be there for you or ask yourself if He forgot about you. I urge you to take a second and trace His faithfulness in your life. Maybe it's that job you got, that person you met, maybe that door that closed. Write them down, keep them with you and when you begin to feel discouraged pull them out and remind yourself of all the details of the story that He's writing for you.
"Our feet tend to follow our gaze, and when our perspective is skewed, we lose our way."*
When you feel scared, discouraged, lonely, left behind, look beyond your problems and fix your eyes on Him. Remind yourself of how He's shown up time and time again and fill yourself with the truth that this time is no exception.
If it's not good, it's not done.
I also have to share this sweet moment from this morning. This was one of those moments where God's blessings were right in front of my face and I was filled with so much gratitude for entrusting me to be their mom.
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